It’s not you, it’s your structure

This month, we're exploring the incredible power of structure. It is the underlying structures in our lives that are responsible for what we are creating], not our circumstances or even our will power.  Structure has integrity, so if you are not in one that is serving your end result, you will never create it.

Creation, therefore, is structural, not a personal reflection of what you can do. If you're not creating what you want in your life, it’s down to your structure.

Think of a structure as a riverbed. The water flows as it has always gone, deepening its cuts into the earth and creating a more permanent direction of flow.  The water will not change course unless dams are put in place or new channels are created that force water into a new direction.  Like the riverbed, we cannot change the direction of our proverbial ‘water flow’ until we change its fundamental structure.  Until we consciously decide to create a dam or new channels, our structure will remain the same and become more pronounced over time.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.  That’s only because he has created structures that have become so ingrained that changing feels unnatural.  As humans, we have the ability to self-reflect and truly see the structures we have driving our creations.

So, what is a structure?

Like the riverbed, anything that directs our behaviour is a structure.  Jobs, relationships and workout routines are all examples of structures.  They are things that we do and have become so accustomed to doing, that they’ve become second nature.  But what we are focusing on this month are our internal structures.  These are the structures that we’ve created in our mind, especially our unconscious mind.  This is what absolutely directs our behaviour.

As Carl Jung, the influential Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, said… “until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.  It is the unconscious structures within our mind that are truly directing us, yet we often call them fate.  We have the opportunity to identify these unconscious structures so that we can prevent them from directing our lives and we can consciously create what we would truly love.

There are three main types of structure that will determine what we are able to create.

• The Stuck Structure

A stuck structure is one that keeps us where we are (current reality) in relationship to our vision.  In this structure we may be able to move a step or two, but it feels laborious.  There is no momentum in this structure.  Imagine moving a giant concrete block.  You may be able to struggle and move it in the direction that you want to go, but it is heavy and cumbersome.  You are mentally exhausted before you even begin.  If you do manage to move it, it remains in that spot with no natural momentum of its own.

When we think of ‘stuck’ structures, there are two main culprits: psychological tension and opposing assumptions.  Both pull us away from our true vision.

Psychological Tension:  This structure drives us away from our vision by forcing us to take the actions that we ‘think’ we need to do (from within our CAGE).  We are programmed to think there is a ‘right’ way to accomplish what we want.  We set goals based on what we think they should be and create a path that takes us further from what we are trying to create.  In this stuck psychological structure we feel like we are moving forward, but somehow end up further from our truth.

Opposing Assumptions:  This structure allows our underlying assumptions to take the driver’s seat.  Although we may want an awesome relationship, our subconscious tells us that it is unsafe to be vulnerable.  These opposing mantras put us in a proverbial tug of war, unable to create what we would love because of the ongoing opposing force.  Even though we take steps toward our supposed goal, the nagging voice in our head keeps pulling us back to our current reality and the insecurities that plague our subconscious.  We are closed, unavailable, and build walls to protect ourselves from the new relationship.  Eventually, we find ourselves stuck in the place that we started… single.

• The Oscillating Structure

An oscillating structure puts us on the pendulum of life.  We believe that we are moving toward our goal, but as soon as we get close to it, we slide back to where we started (or worse).  The ongoing pendulum swing can make us mad, e.g., “I did this diet diligently and now the weight is back, plus 10”.  If you are in are in this structure, you will always end up where you began. This may take minutes or years!

Oscillation is created by having two opposing tensions.  As the tension in one direction reduces, the tension in the other increases and you get pulled back.  This increases the tension again in the other direction and you yo-yo back and forth between the two.  It is as if you have two elastic bands around you, pulling in opposite directions.

The key component of this is that the vision we are working towards is a ‘negative vison’ (the nemesis of true creation).  When we create visions from our CAGE we will often we will create a ‘vison’ that is the opposite of what we don’t want or is driven by fear, as opposed to joy.

“I don’t want to be fat!”—so, we will diet until we lose what we need and then, when we have reached our target, we go back to our old habits (Netflix binging and late-night snacking) because we deserve it or have hit the goal.  There is no tension to stay in our vision but there is tension pulling us back, and so we oscillate back to our original state or beyond.  Negative visions are an excellent way of our resistance to win. 

• The Flow Structure

In a flowing structure, the momentum is moving us towards what we want to create.  Sometimes it’s fast and sometimes it’s slow, but we are always headed towards the vision.

So, how do we take our stuck and oscillating structures and create flowing ones?

In a flowing structure there is only one tension being resolved—the creative tension between our vision and where we are now (current reality).  We are clear on the vision, we are clear on where we are now, we recognise how we want to resolve that tension and instead we hold the tension between the two.  This allows us to act in favour of what we love and to allow for insights to drop in that support us in creating what we truly love.

The three fundamentals of a flowing structure:

• A true vision

This arises from the joy of creating it for its own sake.  A vision that is on a higher vibration.  In the example of weight, a higher vision might be one of general heath or being able to have fun playing ball with your kids in the yard.

• A clear view of current reality

This creates the creative tension necessary to show us the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

It is important to truly understand the different aspects of your current reality:

• Actual reality: these are the simple facts of the situation.
• Perceived reality: this is the fiction or falsehoods that we make up about the facts.  Another word for this is psychological tension.  Identify what this situation brings up in our CAGE.  Really see the conditions that are necessary, the agreements we have with ourselves, guilt, and our expectations.
• Once you have a clear view, ask yourself… how do I want to resolve these feelings?

• Hold the tension and act in favour of your vision—when obvious

In the relationship example above that would mean recognising that you want to shut down and not be vulnerable and instead keep yourself open.

Your job is to hold tension!  The natural inclination is to fix, know the answer, and take immediate action.  Most times immediate action is your identity trying to make it right.  Instead, sit with the tension and allow the answer to become obvious.

Downloads

• 3. FINAL_It's not personal, it's stuctural.UK.pdf